I feel bad for not spending as much time on this blog but I’m seriously obsessed with my other one right now. I love this blog but I carries a lot of weight (no pun intended) - heartache, loss, depression. Those have been very real parts of my life, but sometimes I want to focus on the good, the light, and the future. On my other blog, I’m really trying to focus on the positive & be happy. ❤️
Being born a woman is an awful tragedy. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.
Shameless self promotion - I’ve received a few messages asking about OOTDs and such. If you’re interested in that be sure to check out my other blog, pavithrasuresh.tumblr.com. There’s a link on my blog!
Anonymous asked: wow youre so prettyy! whats your makeup regimen? or what do you suggest for someone who wants to keep it light, but still showy, if that makes sense?
you’re really sweet! I actually have a second, more public blog where I address everything makeup & fashion: pavithrasuresh.tumblr.com
If you’re interested in that kind of stuff, I’ve been making videos on YouTube since 2010. There’s a link on my public blog! :)
Anonymous asked: like, am I a bad daughter for these mal thoughts? i really wouldnt have made them waste 240 k to send me to a private school in georgia if my parents understood me, paid attention to me rather than my siblings, and didnt focus on my negatives. they dont even spend time with me, i mean neither do i with them, but they never ever want too, so be it! will i have to face this for my life, especially since i dont want to confront them since i've never been open about my feelings.
I think in some ways you’ve answered your own question: you’re not a bad daughter - your parents are just as stressed out as you are. I think you need to work towards making your home a place of love rather than stress. Very seriously, I think you should approach your family and say “I love you all very much and it hurts me to see you so stressed out. Just for a day, can we focus on the positive things?”
Rather than focusing the conversation on you, talk about them. Ask them what they want to do. Ask them about their interests, their days, etc. If they make you feel bad, tell them “I know this criticism is coming from a place of love, but it really hurts my feelings.”
Communication is honestly the key to happy relationships. Your parents can’t read your mind just like you can’t read theirs - you have to explain to them what you’re feeling and encourage them to do the same.
Anonymous asked: i know i should be strong and not let this come int he way but , not everyone is perfect and it does bother me a lot when im home, and in my whole life since i led a life lacking self expression. imagine if you couldnt dress the way you wanted and even simply skype your friends without the fear they'll hear and get mad at you for talking about boys. just imagine, and then see how much help I really do need, and why it is overtaking my life. im on house arrest in my own home.
Anonymous asked: the WORST daughter ever; i never ask about their job because I dont want to hear their complaints. I never ask about how their day was and they do the same. so with all this, me being an emotionless person at home, i feel like a fake person at school because I am actually happy to not be home and be with friends, but at home i'm the complete opposite. anyway, pav, what I need from you is an honest answer of how to direct the criticisms and not let their fighting/stress affect m. ik i should be
Anonymous asked: to filter their criticisms and direct the negative energy elsewhere. how do you suggest doing this? i know i've talked to her but shes doesnt tell me what to do. i need someone, ANYONE, to tell me if what i'm doing is right or wrong. my mom takes everything SO personally and gets offended if we dont ask if she's eaten and stuff. like im a very independent no emotions kind of person because i've been raised to get yelled at and absorb. so im not here to babysit her, right? or wrong? i'm actually
Anonymous asked: hurt by it. anyway, that has really strained my relationship because I NEVER tell them anything. the only thing we talk about is how bad of a person I am, about all the things I dont do, and about how I'm never getting into medical school, and how I shouldnt do fun things because I need to get into medical school. other than that, they hate on my friends (who are important because I never really had real friends in high school). so my really passive counselor told me that i needed to learn how t
Anonymous asked: sorry for the rant; its been a while and my counselor is way too passive for my aggressive upbringing. i need someone to tell me its going to be ok, or what im doing is right or wrong, since i've never gotten support from my parents. well the second tehy come home its fighting, becuase both of them have stressful jobs, but i honestly get tired of them. like i cant even look at my dad in the eye. because of 3 years ago, when he found out about my boyfriend and probably what our convo was, he was
Anonymous asked: what do you do when your parents come home and fight, and take it out on u since they're immature and not understanding? also what do you do when your mom takes everything personally so you can never tell her anything? like, i know these arent "my" problems but they take out their problems on us, and they create a soap opera. its because of this I dont want to be home.& they take their stress out from work at home, and its a never ending cycle.our relationship has definitely strained b/c of it.
Will answer this…